Entry #16: The Time Is Now

Tempus fugit, time flies. I'll turn 23 in April, this year I'll have been out of high school for seven years. Many of those years were gulped by some sort of vile black hole. It's not possible to do more with time that has passed, but what I can do is strive voraciously towards future successes and enjoy the pleasures offered in the present.

I think anyone who knows me would say I am a bubbly person. I would agree with that, yes, I am sociable and easy to know. And at the same time, I am completely the opposite. If I'm not going through a phase of hating the world there is usually at least some conflict troubling me. It confuses me how I can be so in touch with people while feeling disconnected. I've felt one such world-hating phase coming on for a bit, marked by a noteworthy lack of motivation.

I had a bit of a time out last week to help me get back in touch, when running on auto-pilot it's easy to slip off course. I have a few self-help books, more for just knowing they're on my bookcase than actually living by them. In all my adult years I've been an advice-giving person, and remind myself that I must practise what I preach. My hours of sleep had increased, and sensing my misanthropic mood my inner-dialogue called me to action to prevent this situation deteriorating. In the interim this did entail aimless moans over Messenger, so bless the online contacts privileged to endure such rants.

I think a reason I occasionally get myself down is a result of how much of a patient person I am. I'm not as passive to things as I used to be, although there are some things it's not feasible to immediately change so I just have to put up with them while provoking as much change as is possible. I'm frustrated that my slow computer is inhibiting progress, it's not conducive to doing what I need to at the rate I want. But if I hold tight then very soon that will be sorted, in a few months I'll have caught up on my backlog in finances and so will be able to sort out the funds for a brand spanking new desktop.

I don't agree with Mac snobbery. I want the best of both worlds, I will get a new Windows desktop and will then look to get an Apple laptop. Each have their benefits, ignore people when all they can do is disparage Microsoft products. Like it or not, the Windows platform is prevalent and with that the programs running on it. I can't wait to nurture my inner-geek. In the meantime I'll have to survive with my weakening computer, it has done well though with half a decade's service.

I've mentioned long-serving friends a wee bit so far and in the last entry touched on friendships fading. I worry if all friendships have a shelf life, do all of them go off? I think they go just like changeable moods, one needs to be attentive to keep the relationship on track. One of my self-help books I have read is Who Moved My Cheese?, in which a vital point is highlighted about how one should smell the metaphorical cheese often in order to be sure of its condition. I shall certainly do that.

A friend recently asked me if I would always be there for her, I replied I'd be as much of a friend as I can for as long as I can. I don't think she expected such a response, but from experience I'm just being realistic knowing friendships don't last for ever. Friendships won't inevitably go off, the parties have to work through bad times and celebrate the good ones, they have to put energy into keeping it fresh and enjoying the relationship for what it is. On Saturday I met up with Trisha, Karla and Chantelle for Trisha's birthday.

I met these three ladies when I worked with them last year, Trisha was in pregnancy and Karla gave me lifts to work. After I left I met up with Trisha and spoke on the phone, but Saturday was the first time meeting up with her after the birth and indeed the first time seeing her without a bulge! We went to the Silver Seas Chinese Restaurant on Northenden Road in Sale. There was a funny scene when the waitress laid out ten bowls for our main course, we looked at other — small bowls and chopsticks clearly not our preference — and someone spoke up that she in fact would like a plate. It went from one plate request to four, and then all ten bowls were replaced with plates. What's there to say, we were there to eat, we wanted something substantially sized…

With this eating out on Saturday evening I did not catch Dancing on Ice's results programme but did see the performances in the first one. Last week there was trouble in the news about phone-in shows under scrutiny. Allegations of botched interative phone-ins across the industry grabbed the attention of ICSTIS (the Independent Committee for the Supervision of Standards of Telephone Information Services), the regulatory body for all premium rate telephone services in the United Kingdom. There was suggestion that Dancing on Ice would not go ahead if we could not be confident the interactive elements of the programme were without problems.

On an audit by Deloitte, ITV said it “is satisfied that the programme is being operated in accordance with the ICSTIS and Ofcom codes.” Phew, eh! So the show went on, and now Emily Symons is gone, leaving Duncan to compete with the high calibre of Kyran and Claire. In Lisa's absence last week I voted for Kyran but registered no opinion this weekend. My vote in the final will be beween Kyran and Claire, they have both done great though I reckon my vote will go to Kyran for his unwavering zest.

The show's contestants have come so far in such a short time, with a learning curve much steeper than a usual professional skater experiences. Things like this highlight how much can be achieved so soon. Not all achievements have to take a long time, though whether they do or don't all have to start off somewhere, and this is where I stand.

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Entry #16, published on Tuesday, 13^th of March 2007 at 22:10 local time (Swatch Internet Time @962 .beats)

Returning in 2008 ;-)